Dreams

"Oh I've dreamed dreams of majesty as brilliant as a billion stars
But they're never bright enough"

The world is such an interesting place, and I'm so full and empty of thoughts and words to describe it, right now, that it's absolutely absurd. Everything is so intricate. Everything is so beautiful. Everything is so... alive. Do you know you're alive? I'll admit that, sometimes, I forget. It's a tragedy, really. I take a lot of things for granted, and sometimes I forget to just be... and to be full of love. Sometimes, I'm just too much of a dreamer, and sometimes I'm too much of a robot. But right now, I just want to live. I just want to love. I want to dance with the world... to fall infinitely in synchrony with all that exists. I don't know why I have these crazy feelings, rapid-cycling of moods, but they're the closest things to feeling at home that I have, so I hold on to them. What else is there to hold on to? It's all brutally apparent to me that the things of this world will sooner or later slip though my fingers and pass away, so I try not to get caught up in holding onto much else. What I can cling to, however, is the Lord. And I should cling with all my might, but maybe I'm scared. Maybe I'm scared of what may lie ahead, and maybe I'm afraid of what has stricken me in the past. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I don't know anything. Who am I? What am I doing? Where am I going? The questions of life. Not to be answered before college, but perhaps to be discovered along the way. Although, I'm not sure about that because who really has time to think, in school? Let alone to ponder the great questions of life, existence, or the human condition... It is a great challenge and quest to embark on.

I hope that these aren't just empty words. I'm not really sure what I'm talking about or why, at this point. I've just been learning so much about life, and yet feeling so stagnant, that I just wanted to start writing again, I guess. I suppose we all want to leave our mark on the world, and maybe I think creating is my way in.

It's an amazing world, and I'm lost without You.
"After all, You are Holy."

Childlike

For whatever reason, I wrote this during Adoration, today:


Lord, cover me, like a child's blanket, in Your love and protection.  Block out all of the monsters and hug all the blessings in close.  If I have faith like a child, will You rush to my side, raise me up and dust me off, when the world is too much?  Show me love, Lord, like I've never seen.  I have fallen, and it's more than just scrapes on my knees.  Help me become childlike so that I can trust again.  Help me to grow strong in You so I can cover them.


There's hope.
Stay alive.